⚠ ACTIVE INCIDENT: On-call engineer is currently in fursuit. Estimated resolution: after they've had snacks. Remote support available via Discord DM. ⚠
Uptime: 99.999% /// Fur levels: nominal /// Tail wag rate: optimal /// Packet loss: 0.0% /// Engineer visibility: limited /// BGP sessions: stable /// Commission queue: full /// Servers: adequately booped /// Zoomies: contained /// Awoo level: elevated /// Uptime: 99.999% /// Fur levels: nominal /// Tail wag rate: optimal /// Packet loss: 0.0% /// Engineer visibility: limited /// BGP sessions: stable /// Commission queue: full /// Servers: adequately booped /// Zoomies: contained /// Awoo level: elevated ///

Enterprise Infrastructure // Furry Operated // Professionally Unhinged

FURRY
ON CALL

Technologies

We keep your network running 24/7/365 — even during con season.
Especially during con season.

// System Status Monitor Loading...
Network Uptime 99.999%
Floof Level CRITICAL
BGP Sessions STABLE
Tail Wag Rate OPTIMAL
Packet Loss 0.0%
Engineer Visibility LIMITED
10Gbps Links SATURATED
Boops Received ADEQUATE
On-Call Engineer IN FURSUIT
Commission Queue FULL
Zoomies CONTAINED
Headpats Delivered 0
99.999%
Network Uptime
* measured in tail wags per second
10Gbps
Uplink Capacity
* per node, more if we like you
3AM
Average Incident Response
* engineer already awake anyway
∞
Furries On Premises
* OSHA has been notified